Sunday, January 08, 2006


So. Another part of this resolution bull shit stuff was *shocking* to work out. So, I threw on my little spandies (my affectionate term for my spandex pants) the new cheap gym shoes I invested all of $23.99 in from Payless, and an obnoxiously bright orange hoodie (because apparently I didn't think that the spandex alone would suffice to draw unnecessary attention to me).

I kicked my own ass. . . I'll be the first to admit. Running, walking, then lifting my tiny muscles with some 2.5 (or maybe they're 3.5 ... nah that would probably be an overestimation on my part) weights. *le sigh* uugggh. Then came the ab rolling. Put me out.

So what's a nice way to unwind and relax post-aforementioned (that's almost oxymoronic!) torture? Shower of course. Light a little incense, put on the sexy lighting....all good. Well not quite. As I picked up the lighter on the "nightstand" [keep in mind .. hobbit hole...actually I just figured out how to post pictures on this bad boy so one day I'll get papparazzi crazy and do a photo shoot of the abode ... just to help paint that mental picture] and went to light stick #1 - Essence Expressions in scent Ocean ... I noticed that the little metal thingie that's attached to the flint was ... flipped up. Strange I thought, but it worked when I lit it so no loss.

WRONG-O, Buck-o. Not bad enough that I leave straighteners on when I leave the house or forget to turn off the oven and have locked myself out of the apartment innumerable times, but I really took the cake this time. I set the lighter back down on the table and walked away, did a little naked spin (as I often do before I get in the shower) and was about to turn up the volume on the Shuffle docking station (sounds far too official for what it actually is ... which is essentially an output device for the shuffle that serves as a mini stereo system - p.s. thanks Dad!) when I look oer at the incense and think, wait, didn't I just blow that out ... where is that .. what the eff. . . . flame, smoke? SHIT!!! The effing (uber-expensive, p.p.s.) forest green suede tablecloth and table are on fire. Apparently the flintythingieattachment prevented the flame from going out so then I set it down on highly flammable material and poof. There you have it. Another Grade A/Stellar performance from yours truly.

Pictures to come...let me go be naked in peace now.


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